True beauty

Perception versus reality in the vanity mirror

“Can you conceive of anything that sets forth the beauty of the Gospel jewel more brilliantly than the godly behaviour of those who have received it? Consider the loveliness of a woman who exemplifies purity, self-control, and kindness in her character. I dare say there are fewer things that display the Gospel jewel with greater elegance.” – Carolyn Mahaney

I’ve always been mesmerized by the amount of time, generally speaking, that women take in putting on makeup and “getting ready.” I know there are exceptions, and I know some men take a VERY long time making themselves pretty, but this stereotype exists, in large part, because it is true for many women.

I, on the other hand, take very little time to get ready, and for the most part, I am not overly concerned with what others will think of my appearance (I know, sometimes it shows). I know many men are on the same page as me, and I know many women are most definitely not.

I was contemplating this the other day as I thought about a great many women and their showing a very apparent and intentional effort at “beautifying” themselves. From hair, to makeup, to clothing, some very careful decisions are made to look a certain way for a certain reason.

And then my mind went to the Scriptures, specifically Proverbs 31:30, which says, “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is worthy to be praised.” Solomon asserts that charm and beauty for the sake of charm and beauty, in an effort to impress or stand out among others, are useless lies.

A multi-coloured game of make-believe

I continued to ponder these things, and I realized something to a degree that, up until that moment, was foreign to me. The entire beauty industry, including hair, makeup, and clothing products, is designed to portray an image of women that is not only entirely superficial, but even more sinister, to present a version of women that, though charming and beautiful, is deceitful and vain.

In an effort to be honest and not graphic, let’s work our way from top to bottom:

Hair products exist to make hair colour, texture, and length look like something it is not. Makeup products exist to make the colour, shape, and texture of eyes, lips, and the rest of the face look like something it is not. Bras exist to make the shape and size of breasts look like something they are not. Tights and yoga pants are designed to create a certain shape, making legs and butts look like something they are not. Heels are designed to make a woman appear taller, making a lower body look a way that it normally does not.

Charming, beautiful, deceptive, and vain.

It’s the simple things in life

I think this is why, if I am being totally honest, the times I think my wife is her most beautiful is right before we go to bed or when she wakes up first thing in the morning. That is when I see her for who she is, without anything covering up the real her. I see her, exactly the way she is, and it makes my heart smile. Honest and real, truly charming and truly beautiful, a woman who fears the Lord.

Ladies, I am not saying you should give up all hair and makeup products, and that you should only wear frumpy clothes. I am saying you should seriously consider why you make yourself appear the way you do, and if your “charm” and “beauty” are deceitful and vain, driven by pride, insecurity, or competition.

Men, shame on us when we allow our eyes to wander and linger where they should not, unconsciously making women mere objects for our viewing pleasure, and not as people with souls created in God’s image. If you have a wife, your eyes have been set apart to linger only on her. If you are single, your eyes have been set apart not to look lustfully at any women (Job 31:1).

“Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious” (1 Peter 3:3-4).

True beauty, honest and real.